Disease called "Perfection"

As several people close to me know, lately I have been struggling with feeling very overwhelmed trying to do it all, and do it well, now as a mother of two. I came across a blog today that helped put things into perspective for me:

Be bold about your weaknesses and you will change people's lives. Be honest about who you actually are, and others will begin to be their actual selves around you. Once you cure yourself of the disease, others will come to you, asking if they can just "talk". People are desperate to talk. Some of the most "perfect" people around you will tell you of some of the greatest struggles going on. Some of the most "perfect" people around you will break down in tears as they tell you how difficult life is for them. Turns out some of the most "perfect" people around us are human beings after all, and are dying to talk to another human being about it.

You'll love them for it. And you'll love yourself even more. (http://www.danoah.com/2010/09/disease-called-perfection.html)


I went to my 6 week post partum check up on Friday, and I told my midwife all of the feelings that I have been having. She told me I was completely normal, and it was rare for a woman who is going through all these things not to have a moment where they are feeling overwhelmed. She liked my coping mechanisms (showering at night so Sean can watch the boys, talking with other moms of more than one kiddo, and letting go some of the housework that isn't absolutely necessary.) 


I am learning, or rather, re-learning to live for today. There was a point in time where I was able to appreciate the simple things, but I had gotten caught up in trying to be perfect. The perfect wife, the perfect mother, well, you get the idea. 


Each day I wake up and I cuddle with Devin while he nurses. I leave the TV off, and just enjoy our time together. I watch his beautiful blue eyes look around with wonder at the new world he is in. Smell his head that smells like new baby, and just take in his sweet cooing sounds. Feel his warmth, and love that right now, at this very moment, I am the most important thing in the world to him and the only thing he wants is to be with me.


And each day, I appreciate that I have such a sweet little boy who is so smart, fun, and a great big brother. He never fails to amaze me with the things in this world he has figured out at his young age, and how much he reminds me of his father. I take time out each day when Devin is napping to do something special with just Ryan. We color, we play with play-doh, and sometimes we just roll on the floor and belly laugh together. 


These times are very important to me. These are days I can never get back. There will be a day when one of my boys doesn't want to be with me all the time, or roll on the floor and be silly. Where Ryan's sweet laugh will be harder to come by. What I want to do is cherish the time I am given to be with my children and appreciate each sweet day with their presence. How thankful I am that I have such wonderful children.